There’s no doubting that women rule the world. Anyone who doesn’t believe that, try living with one for a few weeks. You’ll catch on. I’m just wondering why so many of them are psycho. You remember that movie Beautiful Girls? Michael Rappaport says it perfectly: “They’re all sisters. You never let them behind the curtain. They’re all sisters.” What a brilliant man he was. That’s exactly what they are.

Otherwise, how would they all know when we screw up? And you notice whenever you’ve been single for a while and you finally find someone worth checking into, that’s when they all come to call. When it rains it pours, gentlemen. They all know. It’s like a little alarm in their heads go off saying “Johnnie’s got a girl now! Set tits to stun! Go get him girls!” And they do. They all come around. But you never see that shit happening when you’re single. Well, unless you’re like me. But that’s beside the point.

Bitches do crazy things though. Besides getting all emotional about stuff that has nothing to do with anything, they do crazy uncalled for shit. Well, wait… That’s actually what I like about women. So never mind about that. Why is it though, that not only have I always found myself attracted to crazy women – but also, why is it that that’s all I’ve ever ended up with? I used to deliberately look for normal women, but always ended up with some wack-ass bitch who went off the hook about everything. But why the hell am I attracted to that?

You see, I think that’s part of their ploy. I think that as sisters, they have all planned this shit out, and we’re the crazy ones. They have always had it under control. Controlling our minds into thinking we were controlling something. When in all reality all we’ve ever controlled was the remote.

I’m not sure what I’d do without those crazy bitches and their sisters watching over me though. Drink a beer with a crazy bitch tonight. Take notes. We need to start fixing this shit. Men were supposed to be in charge here, right? Let’s take back America! Let’s take back our testicles and our car keys! Let’s take back the remote control and start telling them what to do! Let’s take back the le- — wait, I’m being… Hang on… Uh, guys, never mind. My girlfriend just called. Looks like we’re watching Beaches again tonight. Maybe we’ll finish this talk tomorrow.