SpaceBrew Movie Review: Closer

I’m not big on movie reviews. I think they give too much away. Well, so do previews. But I don’t like when people tell me what parts are excellent in the movies they just saw. Then you’re watching for that part, and it never lives up to what they said it was, and so you’re distracted and it makes the rest of the movie kind of just suck and – well, you get the point. I just want to say this about the movie “Closer”. God wow.

You remember the end of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, when that tambourine starts jingling… And because of what’s going on you get hard chills… And then ultimately, the music rises and crescendos with the picture and you get that lump in your throat, and then when the Indian takes the pillow you get that first sting of tears in your eyes, then when he kneels down next to MacMurphy you suck in a deep breath as you realize what’s going on, then he goes and grabs that water fountain and the music rises and CRASH THROUGH THE WINDOW HE GOES!! AND YOU FEEL LIKE CHRISTOPHER LLOYD AND YOU WANNA SHOUT AND BANG YOUR HEAD AND OH MY GOD THAT KICKS ASS! IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER That you’re bawling like a baby at that point. Sigh. Whew. Wow. Yeah. And you know why? Because of the music.

But back up a bit. You heard that song at the beginning too. It didn’t mean as much then, it was just creepy as shit – that old lonely whistling violin and the eery disillusioned tambourine… That’s why you recognize it and appreciate it at the end. Because you’ve heard it before.

Now, you probably wouldn’t listen to that song if you heard it on the radio. Well, unless you’d seen the movie. Then, of course, you love it. But in passing, and having never heard it, you’d not give it two thoughts. Unless you want nightmares, that is. But anyway, let me get to the point. It’s not a great song alone. Well, I was about to say neither is the movie, but this movie actually is. It’s fantastic. In fact, I’m going to go watch it here in a minute, now that you mention it. But let’s get back to Closer.

It isn’t a great movie. I think it’s pretty damn good, maybe a little disjointed – and definitely depressing as a dead baby joke – but pretty good. It’s strong. And the song they play at the beginning – “Blower’s Daughter” by Damien Rice (will someone please tell me what the hell a blower is?) – it’s all right. I think his voice is a little weak. But I get the point of the song, and can appreciate its meaning.

Now. The point of my column. You couple that song with what happens at the end of the movie, and you’ve got a tear-jerker. Good God, when Natalie Portman totally turns around within like five seconds, and Julia Roberts turns over in the bed and shuts off the light – finalizing their fate – and then Natalie goes through the customs line and shows her passport and Jude Law walks outside and sees that brick wall again and AHAGHAHHHHH!!! DAMMIT! I love that shit!

Spoiler Inside SelectShow

All right. Let’s go watch Jack go crazy.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Space

    Yeah okay, I just watched Cuckoo’s Nest again. Boy that shit is intense. Go Chief!

  2. Anonymous

    Thanks for ruining the movie for me, chief.

  3. Space

    Yeah okay, I just watched Cuckoo’s Nest again. Boy that shit is intense. Go Chief!

  4. Anonymous

    Thanks for ruining the movie for me, chief.

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