To Travel In Style

What’s up Rita. Welcome to Texas! We’re excited to have you. Though it’s beginning to look like it’s gonna change course and head for Louisiana. Thank God! I hear they need the rain there in New Orleans.

So I was standing there watching the news today, showing pictures of the traffic on I45, deadlocked from Houston to Dallas. Now that shit is whack! But it reminded me of a story from my early twenties that I thought I should share with you.

My girlfriend, who we shall call “Courtney” had come up for the weekend. She lived in Houston, and I in Denton. I don’t know what was wrong with her. She eventually moved out of Houston though, so she’s not all bad. Anyway, she got here and walked in my front door. Hugs, kisses, hey how was your drives, good to see yous, etc. My friend Trip and his girlfriend Cady were there with me. We were watching football or something, (yeah right) waiting for “Courtney” to get there. It wasn’t five minutes after she walked in that she goes to pee, then comes back out with her arms crossed, shaking her head. “What’s up, “Courtney”?” I say. “I forgot your gift,” she said. “Ah, it’s okay, baby you can mail it to me. Hey.” No, she wasn’t going to have it. “Let’s go get it. We’ll make a road trip out of it, and we can spend the night there instead,” “Courtney” said.

Now we were all wild and crazy early-twenties kids, and we loved road trips, and we spent a lot of time together as a group. But driving to Houston? Uh, yeah. Well, she’d just walked in from a trip up here. That was six hours she’d been on the road and “Courtney”‘s ready to turn around and head back. What are you, crazy? Well, we hadn’t yet gotten our secks in, and it had been a week or so for us (well, at least it had been a week for her) so we were kind of anxious to get jiggy with it. A road trip would have to wait, “Courtney”. Uh uh. She wouldn’t have it. “No, Trip can drive and you and me can fool around in the back.” Okay, I can go with that. It’s not like we haven’t all seen each other anyway. That’s another story.

So we all get in the car and “Courtney” and I immediately start um, well, you know. Then she finally says uh uh, let’s get in the trunk. Greatness. We pulled down the seat and crawled into the trunk, then pulled the seat softly back to close us in. Well, I might have pulled it a little hard, and so heard a click. We promptly forgot it about it all though, being drowned in the throes of TrunkPassion.

The music was blasting, and we got a pretty good earful in the trunk, being right beneath the six-by-nines. I don’t know how long we actually “did it”, but it was probably no more than an hour, with the pre-game show and everything. But when we were done, we started knocking on the seats, the side of the trunk, the trunk door, yelling, everything. That lasted about a half-minute until we gave up and realized Trip and Cady either couldn’t hear us because of the music, or had the music up for reasons of their own. Heh heh heh, heh!

Well, anyway, THREE AND A HALF HOURS LATER (making total trunk time about FOUR AND A HALF HOURS), they finally pulled over for a rest stop. I heard the driver door close, then Trip walked around the back of the car and started talking to me through the trunk. “Uh Space, you want me to open the trunk?” Hell yes I did. Now let me warn you, we hadn’t gotten re-dressed after our escapade. I can’t now remember if we couldn’t find our clothes in the dark, or if it was just too much a pain in the ass, or because it was too hot. Well, probably all three. And we were soaked with sweat, as if having been thrown from a frigate at deep sea. Soaked. So Trip opens the trunk.

I’m not sure if I can express to you the feeling of relief we experienced when that trunk came open. It was at once excruciatingly bright, and terrifyingly refreshing. That breezy blast of air was the most intense feeling I’ve ever experienced. We quickly shielded our eyes from the afternoon sun, and – forgetting we were naked – lay there for a couple of minutes trying to catch our breath. Trip was standing there laughing, and Cady sounded like she was hiccupping. We later learned she’d been laughing so hard no sound was actually coming out. In my recollection of our positions in the trunk, we must have made a pretty pitiful sight. And we’re at a gas station. Hey, thanks for pushing the trunk door back down a little, Trip. So now we have people walking by looking at “Courtney” and me as we lie there sweating and panting. Naked.

Well I’m not terribly modest myself, but “Courtney” had a little couthe. She tried to dress in the trunk. I stepped out onto the hot concrete and put my clothes on behind the car. F them other fools.

It was actually a pretty good experience, but I’d not like to do it again. Being locked in the trunk for almost five hours on a hot summer day, sweating and talking and – um, you know – with another human really gets pretty stale. Needless to say we hit the shower pretty hard when we arrived. And on the way back, we stayed in the seats.

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Holly

    That’s pretty hot, space. So to speak of course.

  2. Kay Ray

    That has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard and sounds like something that would happen to me.. in my early 20’s I lived in Florida and my boyfriend and I went to disney and had sex on the disney monirail. it was exilerating.. i would never ever do that now though.. im too old and affraid of getting in trouble

  3. Paradygm Shift

    well, next time you might not want to be so bashful as to feel it necessary to “hide” in the trunk…. er, or something.

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