Have you ever heard of the Anson Lights? Anson is a small town about thirty miles north of Abilene. There are some lights there. It’s pretty interesting. Seriously though, there’s a dirt road that leads off one of the main roads there, which you can turn down to get to the cemetery. The cemetery runs all the way down this road until you get to a crossroad. At that point, you’re supposed to turn your car around and flash your headlights three times.
Legend is that a woman’s husband ran off with her baby and so she and a search party went out into the field to look for him. Her request was that if anyone from the party found the child, he should signal by flashing his lantern thrice. So when you do this in your car, the baby appears in your back seat!
Just kidding. But when you flash your lights like that, you’re supposedly supposed to see a lantern coming up the road.
I know. It’s ridiculous. And you know me. I don’t believe in ghosts and UFOs and super bullets. Did I just contradict myself there? Most people who don’t really believe in conspiracies would say Oswald killed Kennedy. Well I think that takes a special set of circumstances to perpetuate that madness. If you’ve ever been to the book depository and looked out that window down to the street below, it becomes pretty obvious there’s no freakin’ way he could have done it. Which is why they rope off the area now.
Anyway, I’ve gone astray. The point is that I don’t believe in conspiracies or hauntings or psychics or tarot cards or sweet onions. They don’t exist! Well, I understand that tarot cards themselves, and weejee boards for that matter, exist. I just think it’s a preposterous notion to assume they do anything more than entertain. And I’ve gone astray again.
Yes, it’s ridiculous to think that some lady with a lantern will appear up the dirt road and start coming toward you. I can’t honestly tell you why I went out there to even look. Well I’m open-minded. So I guess I can tell you why. That’s why. If you can give me evidence or proof that something I don’t believe in should be believed in, I’m game. That’s why I found myself out on a dirt road by a cemetery in Anson at midnight with a bunch of my buddies, looking for a strange ghost woman carrying a lantern.
So I was pretty surprised when I saw her. Not believing in ghosts, it was a wickedly spooky experience for me the first time I saw that lantern appear. I got chills and all that. Tears in the eyes. You know. The usual when you get your ass handed to you.
The weird thing is, I’m still so skeptical that I don’t really know what I believe is causing that light, be it a ghost or a lantern or the light from venus reflecting off some swamp gas. All I know is that every single time I have gone to Anson to check this out, taken new friends with me, and flashed my lights three times, that bitch has come out of the darkness swinging her lantern. You never actually see the woman herself. Which is probably good for me, because she’s probably wearing a robe and you see where this is going – suddenly I’d have a ghost fetish… But you see the light from the lantern. Every time. Sometimes it’s coming up the road, sometimes it’s just sort of hanging out at the end of the road. Sometimes it’s bright, sometimes it’s rather dim. Sometimes it sways back and forth across the road, sometimes it comes straight the hell at you. Sometimes it lasts two minutes and looks like she’s going to come all the way to your car. Sometimes it’s gone in a few seconds. The patterns are so erratic – well, they’re like pi. There are no real discernable patterns. It is what it is. If it’s a ghost, then I’ve seen a ghost.
But check this out: Unsolved Mysteries did a show about this and they could not find a logical or a scientific explanation for the mystery. It’s still unsolved. The cops out there will tell you it’s the light from truckers going down the highway, reflecting off the tombstones. That’s the most ridiculous bunch of hogwash shit I’ve ever heard. It doesn’t even remotely look like anything close to that. Especially not with the erratic behavior of the light. And let’s not forget that you could sit out there for an hour and never see anything. Until you flash your lights three times.
We’ve tried running up on them. We’ve tried leaving someone at the main road and looking toward the car – in an effort to be on either side of her. We’ve used radios and flashlights and all other kinds of ill shit. But we’ve never caught her. And people have been doing this for a hundred years now. Anyway, I’ve gone long here.
I still don’t think of myself as a believer in ghosts. But I can’t well explain what the hell is out there in Anson. It certainly looks like what the legend says it is though. I don’t know. It still spooks me out every time I see it. So if you want to see a “haunting” then run out there and check it out. It’s one of the faithful hauntings that always shows up when beckoned. Not like those shitty haunted houses where you might not ever actually witness anything. Go check it out and decide what you believe.