Hi Space!  How’s it it going?  And hello out there in blogland!  This is yours truly, Haycomet, and I hope all of you have a big plate of meat candy and a cup o’ Joe in hand, because today we are talking about nicknames.

We all know a nickname is merely a name given in place of an official/legal name of a person, or even a place or thing.  A nickname can be descriptive- a tall man nicknamed Stretch.  Deceptive- a huge man nicknamed Skinny.  Or a nickname can have no real meaning at all.  My dad called me “T-Bird” when I was little.  We didn’t have a Ford Thunderbird, but I guess he thought they were cool, so that is what he called me.  Nicknames can also link one person to another based upon common interests.  My band teacher called me “Elton” in middle school, because when the class played music trivia, I always knew the songs that were Elton John’s.  So Space, what nicknames did you have when you were a child?

I had two nicknames when I was a child. While most people called me “Captain Awesome”, my sister, who couldn’t pronounce my initials (BP) would call me “Beep Beep”. It wasn’t until I was in my early teens and joined clubs that I started getting really good nicknames though. And when I was in my early twenties, I was tagged with Space. And that one kind of just stuck.
A close, personal friend of mine (not a far-away, business-like enemy) just one day out of the blue, said, “I’m gonna call you Space. You love space and stars and shit, and you kind of look like Kevin Spacey.” And then within a few minutes, “Hey, Space.” It’s not some ridiculously awesome, profound story, but there you have it. That’s how I got the name.  How’d you get Haycomet?

Pass me a piece of bacon and I’ll tell you. Mmm. Thanks, Beep Beep.   Okay, when I was in eighth grade, I was a cheerleader.  Shocking, I know, but it’s true.  The cheerleaders all decorated t-shirts one day, and our coach wanted to put a nickname on each one.  I didn’t really have a nickname, so remembering that any time I told someone my name is Hayley, they would say, “Oh, like Halley’s Comet.”  (I tried correcting them for a while by telling them the name of the comet is pronounced Hall-ee, but no one seemed to care.) I told the coach “Comet” and that is what she puff-painted onto my shirt.  The shirt was as far as that nickname was going to go; I was never called that.  As an adult, my co-workers just in the past few years, started saying, “Hey Hay!” So one person actually calls me HayHay.  I put the two together when trying to come up with my email address, and used Haycomet. That one actually didn’t “stick” until I met you, Space.  You are the one who started calling me that, and introduced me to others as “Haycomet”.  I really like it.
Do you think that people should be able to assign themselves a nickname, or is it better to be given one by someone else?

I don’t know. Part of me thinks that’s kind of like the dude who brings his own guitar to a party. “Hey guys, I brought this guitar, want me to play for all the chicks?” And then he proceeds to play Wish You Were Here and Patience. But the other part of me thinks it’s no big deal, as long as you make up some ultra-cool story about how you got it. I just typically think of people having to sort of earn their nickname. Obviously there are some instances where it’s appropriate to pick your own, but yeah – most cases they should be assigned.
I’m like the master nicknamer though. Any of my buddies who don’t have one, get one. I know everyone likes having a nickname, and likes being called by it when they do have one. I don’t know why it’s so cool for we as ex-humans to be called something other than our given names, but it makes us feel important somehow.  Why do you think that is? Like why can’t we just write under our real names on the site? Why do we feel the need to nick it out?

I think nicknames are like the carcinogen-free version of cigarettes.  No, I can’t get a nicotine high off of a nickname, but having one makes me feel special and somewhat cool.  “My name is Hayley, but just call me Haycomet.”  Using a nickname can also make the person who gets to call you that feel special.  “My name is Hayley, but YOU can call me Haycomet.”
I think we use them on the site because they are unique and more memorable than our regular names.  I know when I tell someone that my name is Hayley, they often call me Holly, Halle, Heather, Hilary, or Tammy… seriously… TAMMY.  If I say “Haycomet”, that name is so unique and has the ability to create a mental image, the person won’t forget it.  Plus, in this case, Space, our nicknames naturally go with the title of the site… some may not have realized that… but it’s true.
There is also a certain anonymity or level of security to using nicknames, at least when writing.  I mean if we used our full names, and we ticked off a reader, he/she could do a little research, locate us, send us hate mail, or if he/she liked us a little too much – stalk us.  Although, I think Space wouldn’t mind, especially if it were a stalker of the boob-al kind.
Space, to finish this up, what nicknames can you think of for bacon and coffee?  I’ve already covered “meat candy” and “cup o’ Joe”, are there any others?

I’ll have to think on that one. I mean, bacon is such a great word for it already. To call it something different would be to change its very spirit. Plus, what would Kevin Bacon think? Dude, speaking of nicknames, you think his buddies just call him Bacon? That would rule. And coffee, I think is perfect being called that too. Now, if you’re talking about the collective, “Bacon & Coffee”, then yeah. That’s simple. Yaknosh.

Well, there you have it, friends. Nicknames over Yaknosh. Thanks for stopping by. Be here next Friday when we discuss the curvature of the universe juxtaposed with the curves of a woman’s belly, loaded dice, and candy cigarettes. Have a good weekend.
If you don’t have a nickname but you want one, post a comment and Haycomet and I will take care of it.