Clans and Coffee Talk

I think I’ve reached boiling point. I’m so sick of all the bullshit psychic wannabes on the television. All these fruitcakes who can supposedly tell my fortune and my future over the phone. I really only have one word to say about these people: what the hell Ever.

What I’m real sick of is these clans and cults that form over the shit. That shit pisses me off. All these stupid asses that follow some dude that preaches that heaven awaits behind a comet. And get this: We’re all gonna kill ourselves wearing purple and having a roll of quarters in our pockets. Why? Well to call home when our spirits reach the ship, of course!

Yeah, you stupid cobbler. That ship behind the comet has a payphone on it. That takes quarters. You know, those quarters you thought your spirit would get to take with you even though you left your body and clothing and all that behind? Yeah those quarters. People stupid enough to follow someone like that deserve what’s coming to them.

On a lighter note, have you noticed that there are more and more natural gas burning cars on the road these days? I’m excited about that. Cleaner air means longer lives. And you know what longer lives mean? More sex!

Okay. Moving on. The other night at the coffee shop, a friend of mine and I were having a discussion about black holes. The ones in space. And he asked me what I thought would happen if an indestructible steel ball that was bigger than the black hole’s singularity were to be sucked into it.

I told him it would be stretched and sucked through like a string of spaghetti, whereupon he reminded me that the sphere was indestructible. So send me your hypotheses. I’d like to hear what you guys think since my counterpart is out of town.

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