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The Long Way to Aquaintance

I was sitting in a bar, watching the tiny television in the corner. This isn’t something I do very often. I stopped into this place to have a cold pint before meeting with a client of mine at the Internet Data Center right down the road. I was to be giving him a tour of the facilities and showing him where his equipment was racked.

Anyway, I’m sitting in there enjoying my pint when a girl comes in and walks up to the bar. As she was standing there at the bar, right next to my stool, I casually looked at her, noticing she wasn’t wearing much. She smelled like a cheap hooker – cigarettes and perfume, and perhaps a little sweaty. Her hair was greasy and matted and her tank top was stained and dirty. She leaned on her elbows against the bar, and I could see through the armhole of her shirt that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Read the rest of the story…

This Post Has 62 Comments

  1. quadracer

    wow. pretty crazy story. sounds like something out of a fucked up joke.

  2. Clarence B Cool

    My hat off to you for a really well-written story. I felt like tossing up right along with you as you eyed her up and down in the bar. If you have a pic of her (now) that you can post for reference that would be great. Voted 5 nonetheless.

  3. SoheilsX

    Ouch.

    You seem decent though, and you had good intentions.
    You were just being a guy though, and we have all acted in ways that we look back on and become ashamed of.

    They seem like good people though, and I’m happy to hear that his daughter is getting back on track.

  4. dodatron

    open foot, insert mouth

    awesome story man, just goes to show that you cant tell a book by its cover…and its awesome that shes back on her feet, and you got to know her

    Do you think the description you gave of her, about how she was beautiful underneath etc, would have been the same if you hadent have gotten to know her? or would she just have been another whore?

  5. evelynevvie

    Very well written. I hate those moments, when you say something without fully realizing what you’re saying, and it comes back to bite you. Hard. In the ass. And you feel terrible for what you’ve done.

    Thanks for sharing that with us.

  6. _-ArchAngel-_

    Well that was an interesting story.

    Thanks very much. Thanks to you I just learned an important lesson. Not sure what it was though… never judge a hooker by her teeth?

  7. Boba Phat

    This story is far more interesting than it has any business being. Good show.

  8. Infinite Karma

    This reminds me of when I looked at my friend’s iguana that was sleeping and turned to him and said, “hey, I think your dog is dead.” Because you know, it’s not a dog, and it’s worth a cheap laugh.

    And then he turned back to me and said, “no, Kelly’s just really sick, and her back legs don’t work anymore.” Boy, did I feel like an asshole. That goddamn iguana died like a week later and he buried it in the yard.

    It’s kind of the same, except you did the right thing and made amends, while I just felt like a dick and my friend thought I was a dick.

  9. Kinetic Kim

    Aww, well written, Space. Brings a nice tear to my eye. She’s such a great girl too, you should write some more stories about her. :)

  10. Veskit

    I called my ex a whore, and dropped a couple of C bombs on her too. She still has sex with me.

    Quit being friend’s and just ask her out. Guys and girls can’t be friends.

  11. Tequila25

    Anyone else visualize the whole thing like a story from Sin City (except for the ending)?

  12. flowbee abortion

    yeah, the writing style is similar.

    “It’s pretty strong, and now I was tipsy. But I’d made my point. Whatever the fuck point that was, I felt good about it. I’d figure out what it meant later.”

  13. resinx

    Sometimes there’s just so much beauty in the world, man. Lovely story. Sounds like that experience might have taught/given you something valuable.

  14. Space

    Do you think the description you gave of her, about how she was beautiful underneath etc, would have been the same if you hadent have gotten to know her? or would she just have been another whore?

    No, I typically look at people with an artist’s eye anyway, therefore seeing beauty in rare places. Like those girls you think are only mildly attractive, then turn out to be gorgeous once you get to know them.


    This is a pretty shitty picture, but you can see the pretty pearly whites.

    We call her Ritchie

  15. PainBreak

    Buyer beware: Telling a girl’s dad that you think she’s a whore does not guarantee intimate friendship. Just thought I’d point that out before someone here inevitably tries it.

  16. Recess Rapist

    This was a good read – you are a good person and would be even if the story ended when you downed that beer to spite the bartender’s too-quick-to-judge-ness

  17. withak

    That story made me sad at first, then happy later on. :)

    Very nicely written.

  18. The Rooster

    This is a pretty shitty picture, but you can see the pretty pearly whites.

    We call her Ritchie.

    She is cute.

  19. Evafan427

    She is pretty. Fancy that!

  20. -KEN-

    Not that I disbelieve your story, but why was she asking for parking money if she took the bus?

  21. darkspider42

    Not quite so bad, but it made me want to curl up and die right there.

    I was at a baseball game (Devil Rays), which is a first for me. My friend’s mom had gotten tickets from work and we decided to go on a whim. One of the players has an odd first name. (Aubrey Huff) My friend comments on how he’s never heard this name before. I went to a school with a girl named Aubrey and decided to share this fact.

    Me: I knew a girl named Aubery from elementry school.
    Friend: yeah?
    Me: yeah, I heard she became some kind of whore.
    Guy sitting in front of us: I can’t believe you just said that.
    Me: Huh?
    Guy: Thats my sister!
    Me: Judd?! I’m sorry dude. (Thinking, oh shit!)

    I haven’t seen/heard of this family for over 11 years. We made uncomfortable small talk for a few minutes and then went back to watching the game. I bolted as soon as the game was over.

    Not my best timing ever.

  22. BisterdDave

    That was an awesome read, I kept thinking that story was gonna end up being fake or some moral thing. Wait….. moral, oh yeah, duh.

  23. BisterdDave

    Feel free to share your own similar experiences.

    I’ve been in a data center before.

  24. futhman

    I know it’s been said before, but thanks for a good story and I’m glad things turned out well. Pics please!

    edit: fucking third world internet, I reply to five replies and here we are on the second page.

  25. Space

    Not that I disbelieve your story, but why was she asking for parking money if she took the bus?

    I’m surprised you didn’t ask where she got the hundred-dollar bill instead. Her father had sent her in to get change so he could pay for parking.

    As far as I know, her father has never brought our secret up to her. She’s had a pretty rough go of it, and for a time, she was trading sex for drugs, drugs for money, etc. anyway. Which pretty much did technically make her a prostitute. In which case I’d stay even farther from that topic than if she weren’t one.

    I knew that he knew because of the look on his face. It was later confirmed when he told me he had sent her in for change, she came back with less than 100 dollars, and he asked her why. She proceeded to tell him she had to buy a strange man a beer to get change. And this small token of generosity is indicative of her personality in general. She’s one of the most generous and caring people I know.

  26. denereal visease

    My only question is if by Harp you mean Guinness. And since I’m all but positive, I just need confirmation from fellow alcoholics.

  27. Luigi's Discount Porn Bin

    My only question is if by Harp you mean Guinness. And since I’m all but positive, I just need confirmation from fellow alcoholics.

    No, Harp is a deliciously awesome lager made by the same people who brought you Guinness.

    Great story, great girl, great beer. :D

  28. MindlessHavok

    I made eye contact again as I pushed my stool in…

    I’m sorry, but I stopped reading for a minute because I was laughing so hard at this.

    Otherwise, good story. Thanks.

  29. bblaze

    voted five for the pic wow she i very hott…

  30. Appl

    My only question is if by Harp you mean Guinness. And since I’m all but positive, I just need confirmation from fellow alcoholics.

    How can you be an alcoholic and not know what Harp is

  31. WafflesRevenge

    good story, banging picture, inspiring outcome

  32. PimpSolo

    Actually I have a similar experience. I was at a birthday party of this girl that I didn’t know very well and was invited by a guy friend of hers, so there was a lot of people there that I didn’t know. I seemed to get along with a lot of the people there though, as any friend of a friend is a friend of mine??? I don’t know. Anyway there was this one jockey dude there telling horrible jokes: “I’m Rick James BITCH HAHAHAHAHA” Seriously. Anyway this kid was HUGE. His arms were the size of my thighs and he rolled up his sleves to show them off.

    The friend that invited me was standing next to me, and I began to talk to him. “You know that asshole dude who wont shut the fuck up about Rick James? You know… the one who has to roll up his sleves to show off his guns?”

    He looks at me, shifts his eyeballs back and fourth to indicate that he was RIGHT NEXT TO ME, listening. So I tried to act like I wasn’t talking about him “yeah… you know the one we saw yesterday at the mall.” But I knew he knew. He was actually being nice to me that whole night prior to that, but annoying. And after that, he walked off and kind of looked sad and didn’t talk to me after that.

    Next semester we had a class togather and a lot of his friends were my friends, and we got to be friends. Damn I felt like an asshole.

  33. highendtheory

    cool story, good ending. didn’t really see it coming, i thought he paid for her, not being his daughter.

    love the description of her teeth, newspaper in the rain.

  34. sweek

    Well written and film noirish indeed. :)
    I’m surprised at the details you know (or think you know, but that’s a whole other psychological story) about an event that happened a year ago.

    And ehm, no, I don’t have anything similar.

  35. FlashingLights

    She’s pretty cute, kinda reminds me of Parker Posey.

  36. NoOnesWorthIt

    Fantasic story man. That’s great that you guys are friends now.

  37. Monster Zero

    Great story. Your writing style is very descriptive without being too wordy.

  38. KlenkyWah

    Nice story, and yeah, she IS cute!

    Just today, I caught myself before making a really stupid mistake. A woman I work with had brought her daughter in to the office and was introducing her. I was on the phone and kind of blew them off, so in order to apologize, I thought I’d tell them the truth: that I was booking a show for my band. Then I thought, I’ll invite them! Genius! Then it dawned on me: the woman is deaf.

    Whew.

  39. Orzo

    Great story. I hate fake GBS stories and it was a great relief to finish one and realize that it was genuine.

  40. chills

    Great story from everybody’s favourite canine crusader!

  41. Half_Breed

    That is one helluva life lesson, thanks for sharing.

    voted 5

  42. Shotty Johnson

    Veskit came out of the closet to say:
    Guys and girls can’t be friends.

    Thanks for clearing that up for me.

  43. real scud

    Damn good story, and like someone else said she is pretty cute. I wouldn’t say as hot as I imagined her from your description, but good looking nonetheless.

  44. Space

    Damn good story, and like someone else said she is pretty cute. I wouldn’t say as hot as I imagined her from your description, but good looking nonetheless.

    You know how some girls leave their mouths open when they get finished saying something, in sort of a mock smile? And how they sometimes bite their bottom lip, or stick their tongue out a little further than normal when they say something with a “th” in it, hold their heads at angles when talking, get that mysterious look in their eyes like they just learned a dark secret about you? All those things, plus countless others I can’t think of offhand – it’s all personality. And her personality is what takes her from the cute category and puts her in the ‘hot’ one. And that’s very definitely something you won’t get out of a two-D image. You’d have to be around her a bit to get it.

  45. Rheanlu

    I totally know how that is, and I completely agree with you. In fact, it’s those realizations of quirks or little personality traits (wow, she really is hot) that up the ante like tenfold…

  46. Space

    Those traits you speak of have put her in some extremely unlikely but terribly cool places too, over the last year or so. I hang out with her when I can, and have seen her turn dark days into scorchers just by virtue of her being so much fun.

  47. Vanadium

    Huh. I have not been to any serious bars. I have not met any hookers, let alone girls who do not utterly ignore me.
    What I regret most is that I also have never been to a data center.

    Excellent story, and I really enjoy your writing style.

  48. Jocelyn

    A nice balance of the sardonic and sweet. And approximately 90% less misogyny than expected. Really nice story.

  49. Akvj1n

    You know how some girls leave their mouths open when they get finished saying something, in sort of a mock smile? And how they sometimes bite their bottom lip, or stick their tongue out a little further than normal when they say something with a “th” in it, hold their heads at angles when talking, get that mysterious look in their eyes like they just learned a dark secret about you? All those things, plus countless others I can’t think of offhand – it’s all personality. And her personality is what takes her from the cute category and puts her in the ‘hot’ one. And that’s very definitely something you won’t get out of a two-D image. You’d have to be around her a bit to get it.

    I kept thinking of Leonard describing his wife to Natalie in Memento… Make a move you silly man! unless you aren’t interested in her.

  50. Cannibalism

    It’s very loud in those places, you don’t really realized until you’re back outside of them.

    Ever walked into a server room/data center that houses hundreds of computers after a power fuck-up and it’s dead silent? You learn to appreciate the hum of hundreds of little fans and hard drives after you’ve had to deal with that kind of situation. ;)

    Awesome writing style and a cool story… certainly not the kind of story I expected when I clicked the thread.

  51. Space

    I kept thinking of Leonard describing his wife to Natalie in Memento… Make a move you silly man! unless you aren’t interested in her.

    Good call. I tried hooking her up with a single friend of mine, but she’s the type who will stay single until she’s ready to settle all the way down. Plus, I’m married.

    I’m of the opinion she could have just about anyone she wanted now, based on the hordes of men she attracts – often hundreds at a time. It’s pretty cool having seen the before picture.

  52. Slimjim

    thats a really cool story. ITs inspired me to do something, but i dont know what.

    Also, you should tell everybody at the beginning of the story that you are married so they dont keep asking you if you hit that or not.

  53. Deluxomatic

    I am not trolling, but I do think the OP is kind of a douche for assuming she was a piece of shit in the first place. Viewing something as you did as she was leaving (and in retrospect) is “arty” not artistic. Finding beauty in the moment, whatever the moment happens to bring, is artistic. Plus a human being should try to find the good in anyone, not just assume they are beneath you.

  54. You Am I

    I am not trolling, but I do think the OP is kind of a douche for assuming she was a piece of shit in the first place. Viewing something as you did as she was leaving (and in retrospect) is “arty” not artistic. Finding beauty in the moment, whatever the moment happens to bring, is artistic. Plus a human being should try to find the good in anyone, not just assume they are beneath you.

    Why? It is usually the first thing a person does is register how worthy another person is by the judgement of their looks. Tell me you’d accept a trashy looking person with open arms before you hear the backstory?

  55. Hollowpoint

    I am not trolling, but I do think the OP is kind of a douche for assuming she was a piece of shit in the first place. Viewing something as you did as she was leaving (and in retrospect) is “arty” not artistic. Finding beauty in the moment, whatever the moment happens to bring, is artistic. Plus a human being should try to find the good in anyone, not just assume they are beneath you.

    You haven’t spent much time around bad neighborhoods, have you? I have, and I’d probably assume she was the typical crackwhore who would lie, cheat, steal, rob, spread AIDS, or whatever she had to do for her next fix.

    It sounds like his initial assessment of her as a crack/meth whore was correct; having encountered more than a few of that sort, it’s pretty hard not to judge these people, who are usually little more than the walking dead. He probably assumed that she was going to proposition him.

    She’s lucky she had a father with money who still supported her; I hope she stays clean and gets her shit together. Most don’t.

  56. Bedsore Man

    I am not trolling

    If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have felt the need to say this.

  57. Frost -273

    I don’t give a fuck what anyone says that was a great story.

  58. Trouser Mouse Bear

    I loved your writing. You have a filthy mind, much like myself and you captured that perfectly.

  59. Space

    I am not trolling, but I do think the OP is kind of a douche for assuming she was a piece of shit in the first place. Viewing something as you did as she was leaving (and in retrospect) is “arty” not artistic. Finding beauty in the moment, whatever the moment happens to bring, is artistic. Plus a human being should try to find the good in anyone, not just assume they are beneath you.

    Feel free to go back and reread the post. Then go ahead and copy / paste the part where I assumed she was a piece of shit. I was describing her, and the worst thing I said was ‘she smelled like a cheap hoooker’. Also please note, in the same paragraph I said she was actually quite attractive. So yeah, I’d say I found beauty in the moment.

  60. Snowblind

    I slapped a girl I barely knew once and she liked it. She smiled at me, and now we’re good friends. Very much like that scene in Sin City, except there was no kissing. She’s definately a pretty one.

  61. Jstar718

    Hello….I just wanted to say that I really like what you have going on here. I really enjoyed “The long way to acquaintance” entry. You have a way with words that really paints the picture for me.

  62. Stella

    Excellent story, Space. I called one of my professor’s daughters a skank once right to his face. Didn’t learn till the next year that it was his daughter. I felt like a douche.

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