This story may seem a little out of place amidst the last few columns I’ve written on the site, but I didn’t just write it. I wrote it back in 1996, shortly after it all came to an end. It begins in April. April 13, 1994.

I was sitting in a park. In the middle of downtown Dallas, cool weather, cool shades and cool breeze. The sun was so bright that I could hardly see anything. But it wasn’t hot. It was in fact, quite cool out. But it really felt nice. Middle of April, sitting on this bench watching the fountain come on, then go off and the mist kind of disappears into the cool April air. It was so pleasant. I was waiting on someone to come out of a meeting. It was actually kind of a long wait.

But here I am sitting on this bench smoking a Kool Filter King, and I look over toward the direction of the sun again, squinting my eyes behind my shades to see the mist disappear again. Beautiful – then bang! There she was. Like she had appeared out of thin air. I almost jumped slightly, as I saw her approaching. It was so weird. I couldn’t see features. Just the silhouette of this woman coming toward me with the sun behind her. All I could tell was that she was wearing some long flowing skirt and a hat. Obviously she was fully clothed, but I could make out no details. And she waltzed right up and sat right the hell beside me on the bench. Then she pulls a cigarette out of her purse and asks if I have a light. Damn, her voice was sweet. And she smelled like heaven… Oh my God. Her perfume kind of wafted in the air and gently penetrated my senses… I felt like I was immediately drawn to this chick. I don’t know why. I really can’t stand chicks who smoke. I think it’s disgusting. But there was nothing disgusting about her. I was completely overwhelmed. She was totally appealing. She sat to the left of me, so I turned away from the sun, and actually got a good look at her. I pulled out my Zippo and lit her long cigarette for her.

She said thanks in this beautiful voice. She was wearing all black. Check this shit out: She was wearing a long black skirt, with black stockings underneath, and black shiny boots. And a black skin tight shirt with a black jacket, a black hat with a black bow on it, and these big black shades. It was pretty cool looking. I was taken aback. I wanted to ask if she had just attended a funeral but I thought better of it. She might be hurting. And I didn’t want to mack down on her, because of the same. So I just said, “You are welcome.”

She smiled. She was wearing this lipstick that was almost natural colored, and she had perfectly straight white teeth. Whew. I couldn’t see the upper part of her face, but her mouth was attractive. I tried to turn back normal and like mind my own business, but I couldn’t quit glancing over at her legs. She had them crossed, and her top one was slightly moving up and down. You know, like bouncing? I was so enthralled…

I finally leaned back and put my arms up on the back of the bench and chilled again and stared at the fountain. Then she starts talking to me. She says, “Who you waiting for?” as if she knew I was waiting for someone. I say, “Ah, an associate of mine. He is in a meeting.” And get this: She goes, “Wanna kill some time?” Okay, so I immediately thought she was propositioning me for sex. I thought maybe she was a hooker. After all, I was in downtown Dallas.

I didn’t even look at her, I just said, “No, thank you, I really need to wait here. He’ll be out any hour now.” She grinned and said, “I don’t think he’ll mind, Brandon.” I totally tripped. I damn near choked on my own tongue. But I tried at the same time to keep my cool. I didn’t want her to think she was in control of the situation. If I blew cover and she saw how awed I was, she was in control. I acted like I knew her name too. I acted like she was supposed to know my name. No big deal.

So I said, “Well, he is driving, indeed. So it’s not like he will be stranded. Where you plan on taking me?” She said, “Oh, just around the block or something. Listen to some music, talk a little.” So I stepped out on a limb. I said, “Oh oh oh!! oh, okay! I thought you were propositioning me for sex!” She was totally cool in her response. She said, “I don’t generally do that with words.” And she was smiling her ass off. I had to break and started grinning. She was so wild. Wow. I was definitely in for the long haul. So I said, “Cool. Let’s go.”

So we walked down through the grass to her car. She had a bad ass brand new black Ford Probe GT. Sweet. Sleek. And the stereo, come to find out, ripped. We got in and she immediately took off, foot to the floor, and cranked the stereo. Candlebox was in the CD player. The windows rolled down, and she really’ hauled ass all around town. I was just sitting there staring at her leg as she slammed the gas down, and clutched with the other foot. It was amazing. I had never seen a woman drive like she did. She was aggressive as hell, and very fast. But when people flipped her off and stuff she never even looked at them. In fact, she looked like she was taking a test or something, head down, and never took her eyes off the road. It was cool.

I still hadn’t seen her eyes. But from my side view I could see her hair coming out from under the back of her hat. At first, I had thought her hat was kind of overdoing it, but I really started liking it. Her hair was – hmm, shocker – glossy jet black, and pulled into a small pony tail that was obviously very precisely tendered to that morning. So we talked a little, but mostly, I kept cranking the stereo back up. I love Candlebox. And her stereo owned. I don’t remember what she had in it, but I know it was at least eight perfectly balanced speakers. I was amazed with everything about her.

When we finally got done driving around Dallas, and pulled back into the parking lot next to where I had been sitting before, she stopped the car, and pulled the keys out, letting the engine spin down. I was still pressed hard against the back of my seat. It had been an intense ride, but more the case was that the emotions had run pretty high. Being in a sweet car with a fine ass chick I don’t know, and hearing good loud music all seemed to move me. Music marks moments in a way that you remember them every time you hear that particular song, you know? So I looked over at her and she says, “Feel better?” and I scoffed. I was like, “Yeah, of course. It was – fun.”

So we got out of the car and I was shielding my eyes trying to look up the hill to see if my associate was out looking for me. I couldn’t see him though. So we walked back up the grass – we had been gone for like 45 minutes. We got back up to the bench and she says, “It has been a pleasure killing time with you, Brandon, I shall see you again soon.” And I freaked out again. She said it just like that. Every word. I wanted to know how she knew my name, but I didn’t want to ask her. I already felt like my emotions were showing, and she could see right through them. She knew exactly what she was doing. Though where she came from I haven’t a clue.

So I said, “Leaving so soon? I thought we were just getting started.” And she said, “Oh, I just wanted to kill some time, you know? Thank you for accompanying me.” I was desperately grasping at anything to keep her around one second longer. I wanted to blurt out “Give me your number!” or “Will you marry me?” or anything. I could not let her walk away. You don’t understand, I fall in love easily, and quickly, but never like this. I felt like if she walked away, I could not go on. I honestly felt like she was the one, and I needed her. And she was about to leave my life forever. Damn.

So I blurted out, “Well, can I get your number or something? Or can I give you mine?” I much preferred getting hers, because I wasn’t sure she would call me. And this had been the oddest thing that had ever happened to me. A strange – yet fine ass – chick walks up out of nowhere, takes me for a ride, steals my heart, and walks off into the sunset. I was terrified.

She simply said this: “Don’t worry, Brandon, I told you I would see you again soon.” I was like, yeah right. Easy way out. You like messing with guys like this? Damn. But I didn’t say that. She says, “Would you like a hug for insurance purposes?” I said, “Yeah, sure. Why not?” So I hugged her. This put my mouth like an inch from her neck. I could see the back of her neck, and her pony tail right there in my face. Her milk white skin, so soft and beautiful, and flawless. Those tiny hairs that aren’t long enough to be pulled into the pony tail, a tiny freckle right on the back of her neck… And she smelled so good. Not too strong, not too weak, but perfectly elegant. She was an angel. I did NOT want the hug to end. I wanted to fall asleep here smelling her scent and staring at her neck and hair. Hell, I wanted to die here. At least I would have died in the arms of a beautiful woman. Happy. Complacent. In awe.

As she broke the embrace and turned to walk away, she smiled at me, and my insides melted like butter in a frying pan. I was all gooey inside. I was giddy like a little girl. I felt like a boy who had been kissed by the girl of his dreams. For me it was Tiffany. Remember the singer? Hell yeah. Tiffany had just kissed me, so now I was gonna go home and turn my pillow into her. I didn’t know about sex back then, but I knew about love. And I was in it.

So she started to walk away, and I said, as one last attempt to hold her in my life, “What was your name, by the way?” At this point I didn’t care how foolish or puppy doggish I sounded, because I knew I would never see her again. She was skating right out of my life and I would only have the dreams. I had to at least know her name. She leaned in carefully and whispered it in my ear. Then she slowly leaned back and walked away. Gracefully. Collectedly. Cool. Shit. I already missed her. I was losing it for a chick I didn’t even know. And I hated it. There she goes, into the shadows of the trees. The mist blowing calmly into the air, then disappearing. Just as she did. I watched her walk all the way to the bottom of the hill, then turn down onto the sidewalk. She knew I was watching. I couldn’t see her car, but I heard it when she drove away. It was the sound my heart made as she pulled it from my chest. And it dwindled slowly away, to nothingness. And like that – as quickly as she had appeared – poof. She was gone.

Oh, by the way, I wanted to let you know in case you wondering about how she knew my name. I had just gotten back from a sales pitch with my associate, when he went into the meeting, and I waited out on the park bench.

No sooner did I get in the car and tell him about the awesome experience than did he point out that I still had my name tag on my shirt.

My sister has a friend named Faith. Faith has been her friend since they were little girls. I have always been pretty close to her friends, and likewise, I was close to Faith. Faith and I were especially close though. She kind of took me in like her own brother, and she used to take me everywhere with her. She liked hanging out with me, and respected my opinion. She actually listened to what I had to say, and stood up for me whenever necessary.

When we were teenagers, and I was severely into women, I hung out with her even more. We never had any kind of relations together other than friendship, but we were real close. She took me to the lingerie store so she could get my opinion on how she looked in it. She had a boyfriend, so she would ask me if I thought he would like it.

Of course, I was always happy to look at her in lingerie, and always told her when she could find something better. She would end up buying all the stuff I complimented, and we would go on. But I would actually go into the fitting room with her sometimes. This is like every guy’s dream, right? Hell yeah. It was awesome.

We went one day, I think it was a Saturday, and it was pretty busy. I don’t really like being at the malls when it’s that busy. But she wanted my professional lingerie opinion, so I tagged along. She was in the store for what seemed like an awfully long time already, and I was growing impatient. I remember stretching and yawning several times. I finally walked out to the back-to-back benches outside the store, in the mall to have a cigarette.

I was sitting there smoking my cigarette, and she was grabbing things off the racks and pointing at them and whatnot from inside the store, and I would nod yes or no. I have never understood why women like lingerie so much. I mean, I like it, but damn. It comes off in a minute or two anyway. So I am sitting there thinking about this, and I barely heard the woman on the bench behind me ask me for a light. I turned and opened my Zippo, and jumped in my skin when I realized it was her. The woman I knew I would never see again. She said she would see me again soon. It had been just long enough for it to start fading in my mind. Just long enough to get over some of the initial obsession-induced pain and fury that comes from losing that for which you have just fallen. And there she was. Just over three weeks later.

After coming to think about it, I did recognize that soft sweet voice. And for some reason, her smoking really didn’t bother me. I know, a double standard. I just think it is so disgusting when women smoke. But not her. So let me tell you about the situation. This was some crazy shit. It’s like really packed in the mall, so I can barely hear her soft voice, but it’s bright, so I can see her real well. She was, like the first time I met her, dressed very stylishly, and she looked gorgeous. I wondered how a woman as striking as she could walk through the mall without being totally overwhelmed by crowds of on looking men. And here she was on the back bench, turned around facing me. She wore a midnight blue blouse and some of those real loose, almost like a skirt – black pants. I guess they are trousers, but they could easily be mistaken for a dress or skirt.

Her hair was all pulled tightly into a bun atop her head, and she wore dark shades, though not the same pair I saw her in the first time. These were thinner, more like ovals that just covered her eyes. Her lips were painted like maroon. She looked so classy, yet humble and relaxed. She was breathtaking. Truly, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And here she was, turned around on the bench, with her arm over the back, talking softly to me, resting her chin on her arm. She asked me how I was doing. She asked if I was beginning to trust her now that she fulfilled her promise. I asked, “What’s to trust? Why do I need to trust you?” Her answers were – always – sharp and intelligent. I almost had trouble competing, as I was out of practice. It is hard to find someone who challenges my every thought and provokes so much from me with so few words.

Then I started asking the questions. “Did you come here looking for me?” “Do you always wear sunglasses?” “What drives you to meet each new day with the outlook you have on them?” She answered them all, as if they were well rehearsed. She kept smiling softly, just being herself, I am sure, but every one of her smiles were wickedly effective. Each one pulled me closer than the last. And then she removed her shades.

Against the contrast of her glossy jet black hair, her skin was pale, almost a milk white. And her deep set eyes were just as curiously contrast. Their color was a pale cornflower blue, almost devoid of any blue at all. But vividly, exquisitely gorgeous, and impossibly attractive. I think she knew how it would affect me when she removed her shades, because she tilted her head and stared deep into my eyes with her lips slightly puckered, as if expecting me to say something. Only she wasn’t so arrogant. She asked if I was okay. Obviously, the shock was visible on my face. I was electrified by this strange woman. I said I was fine. I had finally seen her eyes.

I had dreamed many times about this girl over the last few weeks, and oft times wondered how beautiful her eyes were. A field of dark, beautiful brown, never-ending? Or a dark, ocean night blue that cut glass with its stare… Neither, as it turns out. I could have never before imagined the intensity of their beauty being so extreme. I know, I go on and on about her eyes. You would have had to seen them to understand. We talked for about half an hour, then Faith finally came out of the store. She approached with a tall bag of goodies, smiling. She saw the girl sitting there taking up all my attention, and introduced herself promptly. I was surprised, if not a little saddened by the fact that the strange girl showed no signs of jealousy or surprise. She simply smiled and said nice to meet you. Faith asked if I was ready to go. My soul screamed no, along with my heart, and all my other organs. But my mouth had to say yes. I was burning inside.

I turned back to my company and told her it was very relieving seeing her again, and she smiled and said thank you. I really didn’t want to leave. She knew. She said, “You’ll see me again soon. I promise.” And she smiled real big, one of those smiles that shows her perfect white teeth and looks as though her spirit is grinning. I said, “Whew. I was hoping you would say that.” She stood and gave me a hug, at my request, and once again, I smelled of her beauty, and gazed upon the tiny curls along the back of her neck that just missed the pony tail.

As I walked away I kept turning around to see if she was still there. Which she was. She was still standing there by the benches looking at me as I walked away. I felt like a kid being drug from the toy store. I wanted so badly to run from mommy to go back and grab that toy. She was smiling, but she wasn’t moving. I could tell by the way she was biting her lip that she was wondering about Faith. I couldn’t tell if it was jealousy or just curiosity, but the wonder was there.

We finally got to the escalators and when I looked back she was gone. It was kind of a relief, though, as I felt like a fool looking back every fifteen feet. As much as she had shocked me with her showing up today, I was almost halfway expecting her to be waiting at the top of the escalators for me. She wasn’t. We left the mall and got in the car to go home. Had I not been driving that day, I would have told Faith to go on. I would have found a way home.

Later that week, I was at home, in my room. I had a room across the house from the rest of the family, secluded in the back of the house. I basically made it like an apartment, with a lot of furniture and all. Being, though, that I was confined to one room as being mine, I had to do what I could with the space of one room. I slept on the bunkbed I had used as a child. I even had the top part assembled, but it didn’t have a mattress on it.

The top bunk was just a piece of plywood covered by a blanket where I sat on a bean bag, even with the window sill. I had my chest up there, which contained my art books and poetry books and stuff like that. I would sit up there and smoke out the window, or whatever.

It was a Thursday night, and I was at home, alone. My family was there, but I was alone. Everyone else was asleep. It was raining. It was dark, late, and beautiful outside. I loved the sound of the rain. I had some classical music playing in the background, the candles were the only source of light in my room. All in all, it was very peaceful. Until someone knocked on my window. My dog started barking, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst.

It had been a light tap, like with a key or fingernails, but the unexpectedness of it had startled my blood cold. It was after midnight, on a school night! Who the hell comes knocking on my window at this time of night? James. It was always James. He would come by and get me, and we would stand outside and smoke for a while, or go walking around the block, or looking in Melissa’s window to try and see some T & A. But tonight it was raining. He would have called and told me to meet him.

I peeked out the window and standing there in the mud was someone soaking wet, cold, shivering, and absolutely the furthest thing in the world from being James.

I slid the window open quickly but quietly, and reached out to help her climb in. Her hair and clothes were soaked all the way through, as if she had fallen in a pool. It was raining hard outside. Once inside, I closed the window and jumped down to get her some towels from the adjoining bathroom.

She sat atop the bed shivering in the candle light as I looked up at her. She was so gorgeous. So real. So close. And she was in my room. She began drying herself with the towels. I said, “It’s not going to help too much with wet clothes. Would you like something dry to wear?” She nodded yes, teeth chattering. It felt good to finally be on top of a situation with her. She had come here. And this time it was no coincidence, my seeing her. She had come here for one reason. It wasn’t to sit in the sun, and it wasn’t to shop. It was for me.

I went through my dresser drawers looking for some sweats or something that would warm her up a bit. The main concern was that it was something dry. As I closed the bottom drawer, and turned to hand her the clothes, I noticed she was standing right behind me, in nothing but her underwear. A black lacey bra and matching panties. I was appalled. “Um, I have a bathroom you could use!” I told her. She said it was too late anyway, and she doesn’t shy away that easily. I guessed not.

The image of her gorgeous body pounded in my head as I tried not to watch her dress. Which is exactly what I had to refrain from doing. I insisted to myself that I would maintain my composure, and be a gentleman. When she was dressed, she turned around and sat next to me on the sofa. Her hair was falling out of her scrunchy, so she reached up and pulled it out. I had never before seen her hair down. Once again, I was fighting myself just to keep from passing out on account of her gorgeous visage.

Now it was time. “Okay, I give up. How did you know where I lived? I already figured out how you knew my name the first day, but how did you know where I lived?”

“Simple!” she said. “I knew your name, and you had told me the town you lived in. I looked in the phone book at all the people with your last name. There were like eleven, so I figured it was a process of elimination. When I saw ‘Eric Spacey’ I made the inference that he had given you his first name as your middle name. He was the best bet. So I drove out here to the address listed, and looked for the only lighted window. Which was hard to do, being that candles are hard to see through the window.”

“Okay, I am impressed. Now can you tell me why you came out here?” She looked hurt when I said that. I have a habit of speaking exactly what’s on my mind, and rarely stop to think about how it will sound.

“Well, you know, I just kind of wanted to see you, you know?” she said. I was extremely proud. This was a major ego boost. But why? Why did this beautiful girl want to see me? She didn’t really even know me. I had only seen her two brief times before, but here she was in my room on a cold dark rainy night, real as ever.

“I didn’t want to sound brash, you know? Sorry if it came out that way. I just find it hard to believe you would come out here to see me when you don’t even know me.”

She responded quietly, with a smile, “You are very intriguing to me. I want to know more about you.” So here is this absolute knock out chick with a perfect body, perfect white teeth, and the coolest ice blue eyes I have ever seen, she’s extremely intelligent, seems to be well off, and she finds me intriguing. I wanted to ask what she was smoking. Girls like this are born with boyfriends. I am not that good looking, or intriguing to attract someone of her caliber. But I did. Out of nowhere. I was totally lost. Totally in shock. Inexplicably happy though.

We talked for about an hour when she finally leaned back and stretched against the back of the couch, yawning. I could tell she was exhausted. And I could take it no more, so I asked her, the most polite way I could think of. I asked if she would mind if I kissed her.

“Would I mind? Huh. I would kind of be mad if you didn’t. You know, I drove all the way out here…”

It was certainly dark enough to be romantic, and all the emotion was there, but I felt so tense. I had known I wanted her since I first laid eyes on her sitting beside me on that bench so few weeks ago. But now that she was here beside me on my sofa in the dark privacy of my own room, asking me to kiss her, I was more in shock than anything.

We slept pretty soundly that night. There was the extreme comfort of cuddling with a warm gorgeous body, melded together with the efforts we found our hands playing in the night. We didn’t have sex like I’d like you to believe, but we had roaming, curious hands, and our tongues were almost never apart. But after the hours of play, we did find sleep. We even awoke several times throughout the night and found more passions hidden away.

And in the morning, the door opened, as it always did, as my dad let the dog out, and then shut quietly. It went unsaid to myself that I wouldn’t be going to school that day. And when he got me up for breakfast I let him know. Shortly afterward, the parents went to work, and I went back to bed where she lay sleeping deep, beneath the covers. We slept as spoons well into the afternoon. I will never forget that long night, though there have since been many that challenged its structure. We relived, and many times paralleled the pleasures of that night on many different occasions. But I will never forget that night.

April and I became very involved for a time. It lasted just over two years, until she moved to Atlanta with her friends. On one of her trips to Atlanta by car, the driver fell asleep and they crashed into a sign post. April went through the window and died on the highway. They were able to ultimately revive her, but they lost her several times on the way to the hospital, and over the next day or so. She’s alive and well now, though from what I hear she’s not quite the same. She’s lost a lot of her spark due to the coma and head trauma from the accident.

I discovered a few months into our relationship why we met the way we did – it had been arranged by a friend of mine who knew her. I had mentioned what the perfect girl would look like and he had just happened to know someone who matched that description. The problem was it was supposed to be a joke and she wasn’t supposed to get involved with me. She had a boyfriend about whom she was very serious. My friend – the one who knew April and orchestrated the meeting – was the very one who had attended the meeting in which I sat outside and waited in the park. There was no meeting. There was a friend sitting in a bar while he waited for her to come hold up her end of the deal. All for kicks.

Turns out though, she liked me a little better than her boyfriend, and mostly because I was pretty much in awe of her from the first second I saw her. She loved being treated like and looked up to like a goddess. It was very ego-pleasing for her, opposed to what her boyfriend, the classy kind of guy who can actually get a girl like her, treated her like. He was as gorgeous as she, and could have whomever he wanted, so he didn’t ever feel the need to treat her any certain type of special. I did.

She met me at the mall because she called my buddy and asked him about me, and he told her where I could be found. That part she did on her own. Then when she saw me with Faith, she saw a side of me she really liked. Don’t ask me what. But she made arrangements to come to my house without anyone else knowing. Anyone else but my friend, from whom she got my address. Quite the detective, she was. But she had me fooled until she came clean the several months later that it was when she told me all of this. Her words were that she had to come find out if I was real.

Funny, I had been wondering the same thing about her.


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