Have you ever wondered why some people latch onto certain things that make absolutely no sense, defy all logic and, furthermore, are most likely fake and gay? Here’s where you insert your own noun or quirky belief – mostly having to do with religions. But I prefer not delve into that here. I don’t want to offend anyone with talk about h- –SEVEN VIRGINS? SERIOUSLY? Sorry. That sort of slipped out. But no, I’m not really talking about religions. That’s just too easy. Sort of like traffic rants. Ahem.
No, what I’m more referring to is stuff like lore. Legend, rumor and hearsay. Like bigfoot. We’ve spent so many years looking for (and never finding any evidence of) this supposed big apish hairy monster that lives in the woods. Why? Well forget I asked that. People are humans. But the funny thing is that no one has ever seen bigfoot in real life. (Because he doesn’t exist…) No one. Has seen bigfoot. Yet some people still believe in him. Huh? It’s okay to want to believe. Hell, I’d love to think there are some crazy animals and monsters and shit living in the woods. That would make it that much more interesting. And that’s fine. I could invest my life in searching for them. That’s fine too. Maybe a little gay, but okay, at least you’re hanging out in the woods while you look for it. I would say don’t make that your primary focus – at least be doing something productive, like studying flowers or the elusive spotted humpback bumble wasp… But yeah, I could dedicate part of my life to the search for an awesome monster. But seriously? Believe in it before you find evidence?
Aliens? UFOs? Yeah, I want so badly to believe in that. I really, really do. I don’t think there has to be other life out there, necessarily, but I think there could be. That’s a very believable possibility though. A lot more than some hairy dude in the woods. So people believing there are aliens is fine. But why must they all look the same in everyone’s story? Of course he’s about four feet tall and has huge almond-shaped eyes and a tiny chin! Because that’s the way everyone else has described him for a hundred years! See, I’m ready for an original description of an alien. Something that’s not necessarily bi-pedal and has four or five fingers on both hands and looks roughly humanoid. How about one that looks like a big tuba with wheels on it? Seriously. They could be so different than anything you’ve ever imagined, that you wouldn’t recognize it as a creature at all. If you want to go for the bug look, I’d say District 9 did a pretty damn good job there, you should go see that. And also, by the way, I have a review of that movie coming up pretty soon.